The End and The Beginning: What I’ve Learned So Far

Hello and welcome to my blog. I’m Julia, a thirty-nine-year-old workout addict. No, that doesn't sound right. Let’s go with, I’m highly motivated to bettering myself and my body. But first… let me tell you how it all started

I wasn’t always like this. As a matter of fact, I can probably count with both hands the amount of times I went into a gym prior to 2014. I was the kid that “walked” the mandatory mile we had to run in high school. Coming in hot at exactly 16mins.

“But Mr. (insert name I can't remember now) I don't want to get sweaty and mess my hair up, it’s only 1st period”. — me most likely

Yeah, it went on like that for some time. And to be fair, I didn't “need” to. I was always tall, skinny, long spaghetti legs, eating whatever I wanted. It had served me well for a long time.

Fast forward to the pivotal year, 2014. I don’t know what exactly came over me, maybe there was peer pressure involved, but I signed up for a Tough Mudder race. Which meant I had to train to run. Ew. And for some reason I thought I could handle the obstacles without training for those. And I did it, I finished. It was literally freezing... hellooo arctic enema, but fun.

During the following years I did a few more races here and there, started going to a circuit training type gym, and somehow became obsessed with waking up before 5am and going to a full body workout class, or a spin class, all before having to be at work by 8am.

But even then, running was still my favorite, and I did often. It became a sort of therapy for me. I would put together a 'deep thinking' playlist and hit the pavement and let the music be my guide without ever really worrying about how fast or slow I was going. It was exhausting, and it was amazing.

I was pregnant for most of 2017, so the running became walking. LOTS of walking. And that was all I did during that time, but it still kept my weight in check and gaining 30 lbs wasn’t a big deal to me. “I’d lose it again after” was my goal. But something in me changed when my daughter was born. When I was supposed to rest, I didn't. When I was supposed to take it easy, I didn’t. When I was supposed to sleep, I didn’t. Every cell in my body was on overdrive, and relaxing was not in my vocabulary. No matter how much I wanted to slow down, I just couldn't. I lost A LOT of weight during the first year of her life. I ran, I went to workouts before she even woke up, I walked, I hardly ate, I hardly slept. Repeat, repeat, repeat.

I decided to go to my doctor and explain what had been going on and got diagnosed with postpartum anxiety, or, rather, since I was not considered postpartum anymore and it was just plain old anxiety disorder at this point. I was prescribed Zoloft, and to my relief, it worked! I was sleeping better, taking it easy and I was slowing down. All of which I needed to do.

But... If you have ever been prescribed an SSRI, it comes with some side effects that, not all, but most experience. One of which being weight gain. I was ok with it, I probably needed to anyway. BUT to combat this side effect, and get ahead of it, I decided to train for and run a marathon. At this time it was the only thing I was doing workout wise. I went back to my dear old friend, running. I put in countless of hours, miles, and time training for the three months prior. Mapping out my training runs & routes for the week. As I was putting in the miles music became boring, and I switched to audiobooks and podcasts to listen to. Looking back I was probably slipping back into the hole of doing too much, but, well, hindsight is 20/20. In November 2019 I finished my first (and only) Marathon in 4 hours 44 minutes, AND IT SUCKED. It was raining freezing rain the entire time, and I’m pretty sure I looked like Olaf after. But I did it, I finished.

Like most of us, I found myself with a lot of time at home during the Covid pandemic. Without anything productive to do with my spare time, I decided now would be a perfect opportunity to take care of the excess weight I had been holding onto. I signed up for a Nutrition Coaching Concierge program and followed it to the exact ounce/gram/cup, whatever. It came with daily meal trackers to follow, focusing on Protein, Carbs and Fats. My type A brain, mixed with a little bit of control freak tendencies, loves structure. This was perfect for me. Albeit expensive. I played around with stopping Zoloft during this time period, but when the insomnia would come rushing back, I always went back to it.

While following the program I did mostly cardio as my means of exercise. I did lose weight in the six months I followed the program, but it also brought out something I’m not proud of: binge eating. Towards the end, and when I was getting ready to stop paying this ridiculous monthly fee, I would be so hungry from lack of calories 'assigned' to me, I found myself in the kitchen scarfing down anything I could find. This mostly happened in the afternoon/evening, and usually consisted of my daughters’ foods or treats. I was just SO hungry, ALL the time, and when night time came I could not resist any longer. I knew this was no longer working, because I knew a life like that was not healthy nor sustainable.

So, I did something about it… I stopped.

• I stopped running — because as I researched more, I learned that it could spike your cortisol, especially while running first thing in the morning on an empty stomach or running long distances often. High cortisol in the body comes with all kinds of ailments including mine; anxiety, trouble sleeping, weight gain/overeating, fatigue, even my liver enzymes were off the charts after getting blood work! These days I only lift weights and walk, and you know what, I actually love it more! If I get the itch to run, I go for very slow, short runs, maybeeee once a week. Maybe.
• I stopped restricting! Instead of going lower and lower with my calories, I focused on increasing my food intake to support my bodies needs to function optimally. I started focusing on hitting macro targets personalized for me - with room for fun - and increasing my protein to keep me full and satisfied, as well as, provide fuel for my muscles. 
• I stopped not prioritizing my sleep — even if it meant some days I would be cozy and in bed by 9pm. My friends sometimes make fun of me for this, but it beats feeling tired all the time. I highly recommend a solid night time routine.
• I stopped getting down on myself if I missed a workout — I don't go balls to the wall 7 days a week anymore, I actually enjoy my rest days. 
• I stopped doing HARD workouts — nothing that spikes my heart rate continuously for an extended period of time. Trust me, sometimes when I lift weights it still gets up there, but it quickly drops back down to a normal rhythm again. Which brings me to my next point.
• I stopped being scared of weights and gaining too much muscle — now I LOVE a good leg day, and I’m trying to grow my glutes. My goal is progressive overload: This is when you gradually bump up the intensity of your strength training workouts to increase muscle size, strength, and endurance. I even joined a CrossFit gym (ahhh the horror!!!) ok that was sarcasm if you couldn't tell from my writing.
• I stopped taking Zoloft — with the help of my prescriber I tapered off, slowly, slowwwly, but successfully. I still have the occasional night where it takes me longer than usual to fall asleep but nothing close to what it was before. 
• I stopped worrying about the scale — it’s just data, and as a female it fluctuates all over the place. Really, it’s kind of annoying.

And now…

I took this picture near the end of 2024 (excuse the quality & background, I actually never meant to share it but here we are). It is baffling and amazing to me that I weigh MORE than the before picture from 2020 - another vote for the scale is just data!

Today I’m at the cusp of the beginning of my next journey: Becoming a Board-Certified Health Coach. I want to learn more, I want to do it in a legitimate training and educational way, and I want to help others on their path to wellbeing. Maybe there are others that are curious about health, nutrition and fitness like me out there. I’m hoping if you’re still reading you might want to follow along and see where it leads, and maybe learn some of the cool things on the way.

Stay tuned and be well,

Coach Julia